Being Bettina’s Dad – Support through Change

Bettina’s new work, rocking her new uniform.

Bettina reaches for her work uniform – a Red Polo shirt and fleece and takes her name badge from her bag. “Garden Centre today please?” Her mum and dad hearts sink as we feel desperate for her. The Garden Centre had finally closed the previous week.

We had known the Garden Centre, where Bettina did voluntary supported employment, would be closing down. We had thought Bettina had noticed the clues with reducing stock and the notices up around the shop. We had also tried to prepare her for this event. What we were not prepared for was how much the garden centre had meant to her.

We think Bettina is good with change and is incredibly resilient when there is a change of events in her life, or she needs to do something new. We think we work hard preparing her for change which involves lots of plans and planning, which Bettina is involved in and contributes to.

If you have previously followed the “Being Bettina’s Dad” series, you will know Bettina is a woman who copes with a learning disability, autism, and epilepsy. She has the additional challenge of a severe, and quite complex, communication disorder.

Unintended consequences

We could see Bettina’s self-worth and sense of identity (she was proud of her uniform and name badge) had diminished.
Routine and order that came with preparing her clothes and bag for the day; the rituals she had created for herself; the time she would leave and the contribution she would make to the garden centre, had suddenly stopped and Bettina didn’t fully understand why – despite our best efforts to prepare her for the day when it finally closed.
Wondering if it was something she had done wrong? “Garden Centre Today? We could see she was upset and it was heartbreaking.
Relationships she had built with her co-workers and customers were gone.

What we did next to support Bettina

Joyce collaborated closely with Donna, Bettina’s Personal Assistant (PA) & Job Coach to find another work opportunity that she would enjoy and appeal to her talents. It was Joyce who identified an article on Facebook, looking for volunteers to work at their petting zoo and farm. Together they wrote to the owners and Donna & Bettina followed up with an introductory visit to see if Bettina would enjoy working there and for the owners see what Bettina could offer (we knew they would be impressed, as soon as they met her).
Before their introductory visit Joyce had already prepared a collage of pictures of the farm and animals so we could see her first response.
Currently there is not a uniform for staff at her new opportunity. Knowing how important this is to Bettina, we purchased a suitable outfit for both Bettina (which can be seen in the photograph) and Donna. Joyce had a special name badge made for Bettina. Breaking News…. with the onset of winter, Bettina now has a matching woolly hat!
As I greet Bettina in our sitting room (she has just come down from her bedroom), Bettina holds out her name badge for me to say: ‘Bettina Raw, Volunteer’, I say: “Dad is very proud of you.” Bettina responds “Yes, Daddy is very proud of you.” Our ritual means so much to her. The name badge is essential for her self-esteem, and it is something that was critical to our planning in supporting the change and her new work.

Our top tips to support a vulnerable person through change.

Ensure you have a Plan A and a Plan B. Make sure your Plan B is as good as Plan A.
Do not leave it to the last moment to explain what is going to happen tomorrow.
Involve the person you are supporting in the plan, so they feel they have control over their new routine.
Ensure the plan is accessible. Bettina’s plan was a mixture of: ‘easy read’, symbols and pictures. Joyce had also researched the petting zoo online and shared the pictures with Bettina.
Reiterate the plan as often as possible leading up to the change.
Review, evaluate and update the plan on a regular basis. We learn as much from success as we do from when things go wrong.

No matter how well we think we know Bettina, there is always going to be something new we will learn from her, and we have certainly learned from this experience.

Acceptance:

This morning, we checked our recycling clothes bag on our landing to find that Bettina had gathered up her Garden Centre uniform and put into the bag. This had been her decision at a time she chose. Bettina had accepted the change in her life and was now ready to move on with an exciting new opportunity.