Introduction:

During our recent holiday, Bettina and I are waiting patiently in a queue at a well-known national newsagent. The shop assistant at the cash till has a reputation for being abrupt and almost angry with customers. As we move forward to be served, I am interested to see how she will engage with Bettina and me. Why? because Bettina sees the best in people and brings out the best in people.

Bettina steps forward to the counter and smiles at the shop assistant….

Bettina copes with a learning disability and autism, but these conditions do not define her, ultimately ‘B’ as her family and friends affectionately call her, is very much her own person. B doesn’t just understand the feelings of others, she genuinely feels for them, especially the person who is about to serve her.

So how Bettina sees the best in people?

Here are five ways she sees the best in people, although I could easily produce more:

  1. Bettina is the rarest of things, she is a human without prejudice. Bettina is not influenced by anybody else’s prejudice.
  2. People instinctively know they are not being judged by her, there is no need to pretend to be someone you are not with Bettina.
  3. Having a sunny disposition (Bettina chooses to be positive) often means those she encounters then have similar feelings. A sunny disposition is a common trait among those who consistently see the best in others.
  4. Bettina is not concerned with what has gone before, so it matters not that the shop assistant at the newsagent had been angry with several customers in the queue, she had not been angry with Bettina.
  5. Bettina is open-minded. Rather than jumping to conclusions or making snap judgments based on first impressions, Bettina is empathetic to others. It might be the shop assistant Bettina is about to encounter is tired, struggling with a family issue or coping with grief.

Related:  ‘Bettina’s Kind Heart’  https://leadershipintheraw.org/2021/12/24/being-bettinas-dad-bettinas-kind-heart/

What I have learned from Bettina about seeing the best in people and getting the best out of people:

  • A genuine appreciation for everyone you meet. This is not to say that Bettina is naive or blind to the flaws and shortcomings of others.
  • Don’t hold grudges. Bettina does not hold grudges and is quick to move on. Life is too short.
  • To always start from a position of trust. This allows Bettina to look beyond what might be immediate and apparent, delving deeper into the complex layers that define a person.
  • To be curious by nature. Bettina has struggled all her life with understanding verbal communication and the clues which are inherent with what people are saying. This means ‘B’ has a genuine desire to know or learn something about the person in front of her. This is reflected in her active responses, and the pleasure she shows when someone tries to interact with her.
  • Seeing the good in others is a simple but immensely powerful way to feel happier and more confident and become more loving and more productive in the world.

The shop assistant gives Bettina eye contact, return’s ‘Bs’ smiles and asks her what she would like today, then kindly remarks on her purchases “I used to enjoy reading that when I was younger, I hope you enjoy it sweetheart.”  Once more Bettina has seen the good in a person and brought out the best in them. The customers behind us, who I imagine are ‘locals’ look on astonished!

Related:  ‘Bettina, enchanting by being fascinating and delightful’: https://leadershipintheraw.org/2023/09/21/being-bettinas-dad-enchanting-by-being-fascinating-and-delightful-2/

Source:  Steve Raw www.leadershipintheraw.org