Sitting together in ‘Pop Pins’ a 1950/60’s themed coffee bar* in Finton on Sea on a Saturday morning with Bettina (aka ‘B’) is my idea of a perfect morning. Her beautiful smile makes my day. * https://www.facebook.com/poppinsfrinton 

I was inspired to draft this article about making someone’s day following numerous messages I receive about Bettina and how she makes their day. Some of those people have never met her in person, but they feel they have a connection with her. Bettina reads all the comments said about her and from her smile and look of happiness, it has made her day too.

“A beautiful Bettina picture brightens up the dullest day.”

Standing in a long and slow-moving queue at a motorway service station on our way to our holiday destination, Bettina suddenly starts to kiss my arm and says, “love you Dad” and she has just made my day. The journey had been a little stressful with road works, traffic queues and being a sweltering day.  Bettina had sensed how I felt and instantly this random act of kindness from her made me feel calm and happy.

While I am not suggesting you start kissing people’s arms, there are lots of other ways you can make someone’s day especially in these stressful times:

How Bettina makes her family’s day

  • Saying something new. Bettina is a woman who copes with a learning disability and autism. Up until the age of 10 years old, Bettina was ‘non-verbal’. Her verbal communication is still limited and continues to be a challenge for ‘B’ so when she comes out with something we have not heard her say before at the lunch table, everyone stops what they are doing, and we look at each other miming: “WOW”.
  • Her smile and laughter. To see Bettina’s beautiful smile and to hear her laughter is something to behold. It is wonderful when it is instantaneous but sometimes, her family cannot wait and often we compete to make her laugh and giggle.
  • Making a choice on her own terms. This happened this morning, when she placed a piece of clothing her mum had chosen for her in our recycling bin and chose a new T-shirt to wear. This felt incredibly special, she would not have done that a couple of years ago.  Each time Bettina shows her assertiveness, this feels like a big win..
  • Taking responsibility for something within her home when we have not asked her to do it.  Changing her big sister’s calendar at the beginning of the month or emptying the waste baskets and refreshing them with new bags is something she took upon herself to do. 
  • Seeing and reading about the impact Bettina has on people. Understanding the challenges & frustrations Bettina has experienced as she came to terms with her severe autism and learning disability it makes our day when people tell us she has made their day too, by just a smile or a greeting she has given them. We are so proud of her.
  • When she says “I am so happy” Bettina is very economical with her words, we worry how she is feeling so when unprompted, she says “I am so happy” it means everything to us.

Related:            Robert Palmer – ‘She Makes My Day’  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3icgetOak9o&list=RD3icgetOak9o&start_radio=1

How you can make someone’s day

  • A random act of kindness, doing something for someone and not expecting anything in return. 
  • A sincere compliment – recognising something they are doing, and you are specific about why they are being complimented.
  • Helping someone through a challenging task and or situation especially when you can see they are up against it.
  • Combat Road Rage! Let another driver go ahead of you, beckon a pedestrian to cross, hold off from honking when there’s a delay and thank the driver who stopped even though they have right of way. 
  • Contacting someone you have not been in in touch with for some time – e.g. you have seen something that may resonate with them.

So, what makes my day?

  • Someone who takes the time to send me a message about one of my blog posts or newsletters. This happened yesterday from a couple of former colleagues who told me what my articles meant to them.  I was on a high for the rest of the day. 
  • Hearing Bettina’s ‘sing song’ chatter coming from her bedroom. Bettina is often telling herself stories, she always features in them and sometimes we feature in them too. Just hearing her voice makes my day.
  • Joyce and Jennifer laughing at something I said (even if I did not mean it to be funny). Jennifer is ‘her mother’s daughter’ and there is a reason I call Joyce aka ‘Mrs Funny Bones’ It is not unusual for both to leave me in tears of laughter at our dinner table.

Related: https://leadershipintheraw.org/2023/03/01/being-married-to-mrs-funny-bones/ 

  • When I hear or read about one of my former colleagues’ achievements and successes. I had the good fortune to be Managing Director for www.dosh.org supporting adults with a learning disability for 15 years, so when I read a story about one of their financial advocates making a difference in a person’s life or one of my former colleagues message me to tell me of a promotion or progress with their career, it makes my day.
  • Someone laughing at one of my ‘Dad jokes’: I told my jokes to a mime artist, he was speechless. Ok that was not one of my best.

Bettina rushes over the bridge in Whitby to purchase a new bag at her favourite shop on the first day of our holiday. ‘B’ does not take her long to make her choice (knowing ‘B’ she will have remembered their stock from last year’s holiday). Seeing her joy has made my day.

“……after reading about Bettina, I just instantly feel calmer and more positive. Well done, Bettina! You are reaching more people than you think!”

Kathy Wales (a former colleague)

Have you made someone’s day today? If not today, perhaps tomorrow?

Source:  Steve Raw www.leadershipintheraw.org