(The 13th Leadership lesson I learned)

I had a wonderful second career in Social Care, supporting adults with a learning disability which lasted 28 years, but I must admit I was not always successful at job interviews. The feeling of disappointment and rejection hurt. I often hear or read about similar feelings from people who have received the dreaded call “I am sorry you have not been successful on this occasion.”  If this is you, then I have written this blog post especially for you.

Listening to BBC’s Radio 5 drivetime with my favourite presenters Jane Garvey & Peter Allen several years ago, Jane and Peter were talking about the opportunities people think they have missed only to later find it was the best thing that could have happened to them. Jane was not selected for a position at ‘Jackie’, a magazine targeted at teenagers, but she shortly found employment with the BBC, where she later became a host for several programmes. A story which immediately resonated with me.  As I travelled home, I recall feeling disappointed each time a job rejection came my way, but in hindsight, those setbacks paved the way for opportunities that proved to be much more fulfilling and valuable.

Four examples of opportunities I thought I had missed:

  • My first job application, shortly before leaving the Army (my first career), had been for a Team Leader position with an Autism Support Company. Despite mentioning I was carer for my daughter who copes with autism & a learning disability, I was not shortlisted for an interview. I received a rejection letter informing me I did not have enough experience! (I was more amused than disappointed). A couple of weeks later I secured a position as a Team Leader with the NHS, supporting people with a learning disability – I was on my way!
  • Applying for a job as an administrator with a local education authority, which would have diverted me away from my chosen career path, in hindsight I was glad I was not successful. A few weeks later I became a Registered Care Home and Hostel manager for some wonderful people with a learning disability. A position that was so rewarding.
  • Applying for an internal (senior) position within my organisation. I failed a nightmare assessment centre but within months I had secured a senior position with another organisation which had more prospects for further career development.
  • Applying for a Director role but offered a similar position at a different Group company. 17 years later I am still incredibly grateful this happened!

Related:  https://leadershipintheraw.org/2023/08/01/career-development/

My six lessons (& tips) from ‘The opportunities you think you missed.’

  • Use the rejections to refine your application and interview techniques. To use an analogy from my athletics ‘career’ you can do lots of training and preparation, but what will improve your performance and win your race is competing.
  • Be patient and think long-term when searching for your next job; several times I realised that roles I had previously applied for (and thankfully did not get) would not have been suitable, potentially wasting my time and the organisations time.
  • Was what you applied for really what you wanted to do? Find the right organisations that meet your values and aspirations. Early in my social care career I concluded I could only work for a ‘not for profit’ company as opposed to a commercial organisation.
  • Be Tenacious! “Tenacity. This is what many people think of when they think of resilience – the ability to stick with a goal even when it is tough. A great approach is ‘realistic optimism’, when you know the path will be tough, but you’re hopeful regardless” Rebecca Alexander https://leadershipintheraw.org/2021/03/22/6-domains-of-resilience-by-rebecca-alexander/  
  • Do not close your mind to opportunities just because they were not in your original plan. Be prepared to go down a different path. Leading up to my retirement from my first career I always thought I would become a Chief Clerk in a Solicitors Office. We had a child with a learning disability who changed my outlook on life, and I now knew I wanted to make a difference for other people with a learning disability.
  • ‘Do the work you were always meant to do’: The opportunity that is meant for you is out there; it is just waiting for you to apply. Life is short and as my wife, Joyce, often reminds me, you are in work a long time, so it is important that you are happy doing what you do. Here are some questions you should ask yourself if you are going to do the work you were always meant to do:
    • What is it that you are enthusiastic about?
    • Do you want your work to have influence?
    • What will it take to make you feel fulfilled?
    • What skills, experiences, knowledge, gifts, and capabilities do you have?

Related: https://leadershipintheraw.org/2016/07/27/do-the-work-you-were-always-meant-to-do/

It is not always about work when I think about the opportunities I think I may have missed. Lining up in a handover pen at the National 12 Stage Road Relays in Birmingham I was in the same pen as Richard Nerurkar who had just won the World Marathon Cup. I could not believe it.

I loved football and dreamed of being in my school team – or any team – but no matter how hard I tried I was a hopeless footballer. I found running and athletics by accident in my mid-twenties and went on to compete at an elite club level, with a national and county medal for my efforts, representing Colchester. This was beyond my wildest dreams.

 Picking up another trophy – fortunately, I do not have any pictures of me playing football.

Source:  Steve Raw www.leadershipintheraw.org