Bettina at one with nature

As I wake up this morning, I can hear Bettina chattering to herself in between her giggles.  She is either telling herself stories or she is recalling funny memories that please her.  For me, hearing her is like listening to my favourite music or birdsong.   Any fears for my day ahead diminish as I feel Bettina’s cheerfulness.

Who inspires you to be the best version of yourself? Someone who faces challenges, obstacles, and frustrations that you can only imagine.  Bettina, my daughter who copes with a learning disability, autism, and epilepsy, seems to find something to be cheerful about no matter what adversity presents itself.

Related:  My Inspiration – Leadership in the Raw

Bettina’s reasons to be cheerful?

  • Living in a house full of laughter.   Laughter and cheerfulness are contagious, and in our house, we have all caught it.  (Please see Spike Milligan’s poem at the end of this story).

Related: Being Married to Mrs Funny Bones – Leadership in the Raw

  • Bettina has a circle of people who are positive and enjoy her company.  Bettina actively avoids people who are negative.  One of her superhuman strengths is she can recognise the tone and rhythm in someone’s voice.
  • Her circle tells her how much they love her, and they do this on a regular basis.  It is the first thing and the last thing she hears from her parents and her big sister each day. 
  • The people around her always keep their promises and they never let her down.
  • People are tuned into what she is trying to communicate.  Verbal communication is still a challenge for Bettina, she struggles to retrieve words she needs.  So, Bettina improvises with other communication methods such has writing down notes for us, using Makaton signs to reinforce her speech and using pictures and objects.  Those who are significant in her life recognise her techniques and respond accordingly which delights Bettina.
  • Bettina embraces mindfulness – she does not know what that word means but she lives what it means.  “Mindfulness means paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, infused with qualities like kindness, curiosity and acceptance.”  (Bettina and I had a ‘mindful’ walk together yesterday – we both came back uplifted).

Related:  Being Bettina’s Dad: Bettina transforming my life with mindfulness – Leadership in the Raw

When do you know Bettina is cheerful?  (Which is most of the time) – Because:

  • Bettina gives you a ‘side eye’ at the dinner table because she knows she is making you laugh and enjoys seeing your reaction.
  • Bettina flaps her hands and squeezes her eyes in delight – a classic autism trait showing pleasure.
  • As we approach warmer weather Bettina will take herself into our garden and blow  bubbles – which are always in plentiful supply.
  • She sings and hums when she is drawing.  We hear her joy coming from her bedroom in the evening. 
  • She tells you “So happy.”  As her big sister, Jennifer says “we are all living in Bettina’s world.” 
  • When she kisses your arm, usually when you least expect it, then closes in for a big hug.  You cannot buy this kind of affection as it is always on Bettina’s terms. 

What Bettina has taught me on how to be cheerful?

  • Find something to look forward to.  Bettina actively looks for things that she would like in the future.  This could be a DVD or going to see the next Disney/Pixar film.  Bettina is already excited about her upcoming family holidays.  (Bettina memorises the dates). 
  • Being able to laugh at yourself (often).  Bettina will tell you first when she slips up and then often laughs at herself. 
  • Enjoy reading a book.  We have a bookcase in every room in our house.  Although Bettina has the most books.
  • Listening to music.  Bettina often zones out when she hears a favourite song.    
  • Looking for the good in everything you see, listen, and feel.  Bettina does not have prejudices; she is completely free of bias.  Bettina gives everyone the benefit of doubt. 
  • You never stop having the opportunity to change your life.  Bettina has reinvented herself so many times since she was a child, coming to terms with her disabilities which she often found painful.   “Happiness is not the belief that we don’t need to change; it’s the realisation that we can” Shawn Achor
  • If yesterday did not go well tomorrow is a new day and you can start again.  At the start of each day Bettina goes again

Related:  Being Bettina’s Dad: Today we go again – Leadership in the Raw

As I wish Bettina a goodnight, Bettina recounts her day and finishes with “so happy” which makes us all cheerful. 

There is nothing more cheering for Bettina than collecting seashells on the beach (near her home) in Frinton on Sea.