By Steve Raw. Helping you on your leadership journey

Being Bettina’s Dad: Enchanting by being fascinating and delightful

Driving home from a family get together in Manchester this weekend, I reflected on how Bettina has, once again, enchanted everyone and I am reminded, yet again, how much she inspires her family.

Bettina’s wider family have followed her progress since she came into our world over 30 years ago.  A person who was at odds with her world, caused by her severe autism and learning disability. With all her might and the love and belief of her family, she fought her demons and won.  With each visit they comment on her progress and delight in her achievements.

This afternoon, my thoughts turned towards the week ahead, which included presentations to a Local Advocacy company and a training event for managers, the following day, in another part of the country.  I want to influence those I meet about how my company www.dosh.org , feels about supporting people with learning disabilities to be more independent and have more control over their money.

I want to inspire and capture their imagination, but ultimately enchant them.

Thinking about Bettina’s charm helps me to prepare:

How Bettina enchants people:

  • Her calmness casts a magic spell that soothes away your stress and anxiety.
  • Bettina knows how to look and feel every moment of her life with an innocence and vulnerability.
  • With her authenticity https://leadershipintheraw.org/2018/03/29/being-bettinas-dad-be-your-authentic-self/ every decision Bettina makes says something about her
  • Bettina fills those she meets and engages with, with great delight and…
  • by choosing her words very carefully, so each word she speaks is in accordance with your own way of communicating
  • By being enigmatic – Bettina attracts your attention without really trying (by just being herself). We can be sitting at the dinner table and, without realising it, find ourselves looking at Bettina wondering what she is going to do next.

“She was put here on earth to make sense of its wild enchantments.”  Boris Pasternak

Bettina’s six lessons of enchantment:

  1. You have the other person’s best interests at heart
  2. With your passion you change peoples hearts, minds, and actions
  3. Use influence as you can see a better solution
  4. By being passionate and loving what you do, you will find enchantment and enchant others.
  5. Engage with eye contact and a smile when speaking and do not allow yourself to be distracted
  6. Have something significant to communicate

A quote that could have been written for Bettina:

“Only those who truly love and who are truly strong can sustain their lives as a dream. You dwell in your own enchantment. Life throws stones at you but your love and your dream change those stones into the flowers of discovery. Even if you lose, or are defeated by things, your triumph will always be exemplary. And if no one knows it, then there are places that do. People like you enrich the dreams of the worlds, and it is dreams that create history. People like you are unknowing transformers of things, protected by your own fairy-tale, by love.” Ben Okri

As I finish this blog post I hear knocking at the door.  It is Bettina and her Personal Assistant and once again they have managed to fit a huge amount into their day together.

“Hi Bettina”  “Hello Dad, Steve boy” (sometimes just Dad, sometimes Steve and sometimes my full title, but at 62, to be still called ‘boy’, that’s enchantment for me).

Having spent the whole weekend with Bettina it is always a bit of an anti-climax when she leaves to start her busy day, but she is now back once again to enchant her family.

So who are you going to enchant today?

“To the one who knows how to look and feel, every moment of this free wandering life is an enchantment.” Alexandra David-Neel

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Contact me

steve.raw@dosh.org
@DoshLtd

Join me at 7am everyday for inspirational tweets about leadership